laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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