I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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