Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
