This house was built for laser tag.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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