a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
