did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
