Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
