my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My vagina is officially offended.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize