As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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