Me too!
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize