so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
where are you?
Hypothermia
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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