A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i now understand why vodka
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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