dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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