is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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