It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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