My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
