that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
