I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
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You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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