just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize