people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
