I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
