god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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