so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
