respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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