So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
