can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize