I could have mohawked her pubes.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
