your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
