I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Randomize
