you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
so much tequila, so little girl.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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