If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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