Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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