She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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