if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize