Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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