These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
It was confusing and full of hummus
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
