im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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