I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
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I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
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in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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