lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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