I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
