so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo