Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list