i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.