Do you still have your period?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
19 Totally Clueless People That’ll Make You Say ‘Bless Your Heart’
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
30 Times Ryan Reynolds’ Replies Were The Funniest Thing On Twitter
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?