Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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