I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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