Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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