Screwed.edu
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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