Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
