Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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