He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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