R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
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