tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize