Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Randomize
