i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
