So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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