THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Boobs speak an international language.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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