WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
