I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I faked an abortion last night.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
