Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
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Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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