its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
