And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
