What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize