I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
